Dead City Scrolls

Seven stitches later I’m feeling all right.  I can’t get too mad, I guess my capacity for hatred is directly proportional to the amount I’m bleeding at a given moment.

That cat Raven’s taking care of?  Have I told you about that, blog?  That cat Doon got me in the upper lip, about a centimeter from the center, closer to being split right through than not.

The story is: he got into a fight with Dmitri, and since I didn’t want Doon killed or Dmitri injured (I have a strong but evidence based pro-my cat bias, it is true) I separated them.  When they got back together I lifted Doon out by the scruff of the neck and set him down and he seemed to be steaming a little, so I tried to calm him down.  So he ripped my face open.

All the way to the hospital I was (calmly, I would’ve smiled through it if the injury had been anywhere else) ticking off the things I could be fully trusted to do to the cat the next time I saw him.  Removal of ears came up, burial in cat gravel, tying of tail into knots.  As sincerely as I felt these things, when I got home I went down and said hello to the cat and he acted entirely innocent and ignorant of the whole affair.  I patted him on the head and came upstairs and wrote this.

Spent about five minutes in triage.  Dude who did the job was entirely pro, my lip looks like it has a little scrape and some blue stuff on it.  Didn’t run me a dime. Have I mentioned how much I fucking love my semisocialized medicine?

Via Wikipedia: Wu wei

Fat Kevin Federline is not something I wanted to see!

Here’s a better thing.

I can do this now because I did that thing before.

The desired result is that any time someone is disappointed by the blog I’ll be able to reel them back in with nudity.

because I am replaying Kingdom Hearts 2.

oh my lord this game.

one thing: I keep mishearing what Donald Duck says.

Duck says: “Heartless Heartless Heartless!”  Dave hears: “Hobnobs, hobnobs, hobnobs!”  OHHH THESE CRUMMY OAT COOKIES MAKE ME SO MAD.

Raven says:
I keep wanting to tell you to post a new thing – but I know it’s a gamble, because you might post something I don’t want to see.
Fortinbras says:
kevin federline is fat now. i could post about that.

i guess i did.

After the wedding job (120% completion rate, see you next mission!) I have a ton of prosciutto left, some smoked salmon and a few other things in supply.  I also have hot dogs.

Prosciutto wrapped hot dog with smoked salmon.  You would eat this.  You would.  I know you.  And if you wouldn`t I don`t want to know you.

Barack Obama solves nation`s biggest issues with nation`s unspoken official bringer togetherer of people: “come have a beer on my lawn.”

Think of this fish flopping in time to I Can’t Stop Loving You by Ray Charles.

Fortinbras says:
I’m bloggin that fish
Raven says:
:D!!!!!!
Fortinbras says:
Good to push down the current events.
Raven says:
they are not so current anymore.
wh
oh Jesus
what is this
Fortinbras says:
I don’t see what’s not current about a robot fetus being bathed in human guts and breast milk
Raven says:
yeah I just saw
Fortinbras says:
That seems exactly up to date
Raven says:
no yes of course
always
Fortinbras says:
A perfect mirror of our modern dilemma.